WWE Extreme Rules (May 2013)

Before watching tonight’s WWE Extreme Rules PPV, I figured I’d give my thoughts on how tonight’s show will play out. 

I anticipate tonight’s PPV becoming a showcase of The Shield.  With that being said, I obviously have Dean Ambrose defeating Kofi Kingston to become the new United States Champion.  Also Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns will defeat Team Hell No to become Tag Team Champions.  For those of you who don’t follow wrestling, The Shield consists of Ambrose, Rollins, and Reigns. 

While members of The Shield are only scheduled to participate in these two match ups, they’ve made their name by interjecting themselves/being written into other wrestler’s matches.  With a John Cena vs. Ryback Last Man Standing match set for the WWE Championship, don’t be surprised to see The Shield make their presence felt during that match as well.  No better way to prolong the Cena/Ryback storyline then having The Shield clean house to create a double count out right?  The Shield can stand triumphant holding three titles over the remains of Cena and Ryback.  End scene. Fade to WWE logo.

*UPDATE* The Shield won both their matches tonight and Cena vs Ryback ended in a double count out.  No outside interference needed

2013 Royal Rumble Running Diary

Welcome to the 2013 edition of the royal rumble running diary.  I started this site last year with this very same article and I figured no better way to bring it back after months of laziness with the same running diary.  So here we go.

8:19 PM 1/27/2013 Our first match of the evening pits the world heavy weight champ Alberto Del Rio vs. The Big Show in a last man standing match, before entering the ring Del Rio bumps into Bret "The Hit Man "Hart back stage. Hart calls Del Rio "The Mexican Bret Hart" and put his token shades on Del Rios ring announcer. Guess who's winning this match?

8:20 PM 1/27/2013 Here we go. Outside the ring and up the entrance way, the match was destined to end back stage with one of the combatants getting pinned under a car or something of that ilk.

8:23 PM 1/27/2013 Del Rio just got choked slammed through a table, after getting up, to no ones surprise, JBL is screaming we got us a fight!! We got us a fight!!! I think JBL is impressed or something.

8:24 PM 1/27/2013 Del Rio just made his way back to the ring and slipped out near the announcers table. The crowd is clearly behind Del Rio, chanting SI SI SI with every successful attack by Del Rio. 

8:27 PM 1/27/2013 We have our first fire extinguisher appearance of the night. a highly under appreciated foreign object.

8:28 PM 1/27/2013 Big Show is currently being duct tape to the ropes by Del Rios ring announcer while he has an arm lock on big show, shades of Cena vs. Bautista from years back.

8:29 PM 1/27/2013 Big Show is unable to do a simple sit up and untie his feet, ladies and gentleman, your world heavy weight number one contender.  Del Rio retains the title much to the delight of the Pheonix crowd. Promo Time.

8:30 PM 1/27/2013 Commercial with the Miz and Kofi for Slim Jims.  2 notes, good to see WWE keeping its connection to Slim Jims from the Macho Man days and this might be the most air time Kofi and Miz get all night (Shaking my head).

8:32 PM 1/27/2013 WWE work horse Dolph Ziggler, his girl AJ Lee and token jacked body guard Big E Langston get the first promo cut of the night.  Dolph makes the logical choice of entering the rumble at number 1. Dolph also just announced his plans to win the rumble cash in his "money in the bank" title shot and unify both titles at WrestleMania.  I'll take that any day over the likely Cena vs Rock vs CM Punk combo. 

8:39 PM 1/27/2013 Tag team match action up next following a long list of WWE "superstars" stating why they will win the rumble.  Side note, why are every WWE wrestlers and porn actor/actress know as a star? Are these two careers someone connected? These are the things I ponder.

8:42 PM 1/27/2013 Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. the Rhode Scholars.  Token "what do we do with guys who have been written out of the title picture?" tag team combos.  YES YES YES YES YES.  Team Hell No.

8:45 PM 1/27/2013 JBL is giving us the career record of Cody Rhodes from his amateur wrestling days in Georgia.  I'm an adult, I only care about professional wrestling.  Save it JBL.

8:47 PM 1/27/2013 Five minutes later and this match is still going.  As much as I like team hell no, you're cutting into main event time here. Get on with the show gentlemen.

8:52 PM 1/27/2013 While we wait for the next match, lets contemplate what might happen tonight.  Safe money is on Cena winning the rumble and the rock winning the title to set up a rematch of last years WrestleMania match up but with the title on the line this year.  Other questions tonight, how long will Dolph Ziggler last? will he break Rey Mysterio's time in the ring? I'm predict him making the final 4 and breaking the record. What surprise are in store? Each year we get a few surprise combatants, from retired superstars from yesteryear IE Hacksaw Jim Dugan or Bob Backlund to guys not currently under contract, think RVD or Diesel last year.  Will Brock Lesnar, HHH, or Undertaker some how infuse themselves into the storyline tonight? All signs point to YES.

8:59 PM 1/27/2013 Nearly an hour in and not a single mention of Michael Cole or Jerry "The King" Lawler so far from me.  Cue the awkward silence.

9:01 PM 1/27/2013 MY GOD

9:02 PM 1/27/2013 IT'S TIME

9:02 PM 1/27/2013 WHY IS MY CAP LOCKS STUCK ON?

9:02 PM 1/27/2013 #1 Dolph Ziggler. Time to steal the show..

9:02 PM 1/27/2013 #2 Y2J!!!!!! Break the Walls Down!!!!! Pheonix is rocking now.  Well played WWE, nice way to bring back a former rival of Ziggler to start the match off with some fast paced action.  The entrance was just a little short of this.

 

9:07 PM 1/27/2013 The bell has rang. Time to start it off. Road to WrestleMania is officially here.

9:07 PM 1/27/2013 Already a great choice having these 2 start us off. Fast pace action with near eliminations a plenty.

9:08 PM 1/27/2013 #3 Cody Rhodes.  Welcome back. Rhodes is the first of many men who will be performing double duty this evening.

9:09 PM 1/27/2013 Jericho just put Rhodes in the Walls of Jericho for his signature moment of the evening.

9:10 PM 1/27/2013 #4 Kofi Kingston. SOS. BOOM BOOM BOOM. We got some great potential for amazing feats with the athletic talent currently in the ring.

9:12 PM 1/27/2013 #5 Santino. JBL "don't blink" best line of the night so far.  4 guys thrown over the top and, to no one surprise, they all held on.  Santino was not so lucky.  We officially have our first elimination.

9:13 PM 1/27/2013 #6 Drew McIntyre of 3 Man Band. Cole just gave us this nugget. "all three members of 3 man band are entered into the rumble tonight giving them a 10 percent chance of winning.”  Don't lie to me Cole. Not like this.

9:15 PM 1/27/2013 #7 Titus O'Neil of the Prime Time Players.

9:16 PM 1/27/2013 Goodbye McIntyre. Those 10 percent odds just dropped. FU Cole. FU.

9:17 PM 1/27/2013 #8 Goldust. The Rhode boys seem to have declared war on each other.  Did you expect me to pass up an opportunity to use an Indiana Jones reference?  Side note, WWE cameras cut to two guys dressed as Goldust in the audience during his entrance.   

9:18 PM 1/27/2013 #9 David Otenga.  JBL"Jennifer Hudson's husband".  JBL is heating up.

9:20 PM 1/27/2013 #10 Heath Slater.  First twitter reference of the match.  I can't wait to watch this is five years and wonder what was twitter?

9:22 PM 1/27/2013 #11 Sheamus. Last years winner and our first real big man.  Time to empty out some dead weight from the ring.  Goodbye Titus Young.  Who's next? David Otenga? Sheamus says yes.

9:23 PM 1/27/2013 #12 Tensai.  How long until the Albert chants?

9:25 PM 1/27/2013 #13 Brodus Clay.  We're about to have a fat face off.  Clay vs Tensai.  Let's pray for a double elimination.

9:26 PM 1/27/2013 Cody knocks out Goldust.  "See ya in another life brotha."

9:27 PM 1/27/2013 #14 Rey Mysterio.  The poster boy for WWE's wellness program and one of the last remaining cartoon character wrestling personas.  Welcome to the Rumble. May your stay be short.

9:28 PM 1/27/2013 #15 Darren Young.  Prime time players part 2.  #16 Random NXT guy.  I guess you have to sell the product somehow. 

9:31 PM 1/27/2013 #17 The Godfather. Climb aboard the hoe train WWE fans.  Pimping ain't easy.

9:33 PM 1/27/2013 #18 Wade Barrett.  The intercontinental champion.  That belt all but assures Barrett will be lucky to crack the final 10.

9:35 PM 1/27/2013 Ziggler and Y2J over a half hour in so far. 

9:35 PM 1/27/2013 #19 John Cena.  The loudest Boo's of the night.  Our residential super hero is here to save the day.  Slater and Rhodes get shown the door quickly by Cena.  Typical house cleaning.  I've been informed our NXT guy is named Bo Dallas. 

9:37 PM 1/27/2013 #20 Damien Sandow.

9:37 PM 1/27/2013 Goodbye Rey Mysterio we will miss your mask.

9:38 PM 1/27/2013 #21 Daniel Bryan.  YES YES YES.  To those of you who are questioning the repeated use of the word yes, it's Bryan's catch phrase. 

9:40 PM 1/27/2013 #22 Antonio Cesaro.  The usual countdown from 10 to entry was drowned out by the Cena Sucks/Let's Go Cena chants. 

9:41 PM 1/27/2013 #23 The Great Khali.  The Punjabi playboy himself. 

9:43 PM 1/27/2013 #24 Kane. The Big Red Machine.  The Pete Rose of the Royal Rumble.  All time hits leader and elimination leader.  Weird how they've wrestled each other.  When will it come out that Kane was betting on his matches.  Someone call Bob Ley and Outside the Lines.  We may have a story here.

9:44 PM 1/27/2013 #25 Zack Ryder.  Bodies are building up in the ring and on cue Kane takes out Khali and Bryan takes out Kane.  Bryan is now in Kane's arms outside the ring temporarily avoiding elimination. Now Kane drops and eliminates Bryan to return the favor.  Teamwork at it's finest.

9:46 PM 1/27/2013 #26 Randy Orton. The Viper.  Dark horse candidate as a winner tonight.

9:47 PM 1/27/2013 Ryder just got eliminated and took a vicious face plant.  I can't wait for footage of that fall in 15 years in a documentary on post concussion syndrome.

9:47 PM 1/27/2013 #27 Jinder Mahal.  3 man bands last member. How those odds looking Cole?

9:48 PM 1/27/2013 Cena tosses Cesaro.  US Champ is done.

9:49 PM 1/27/2013 #28 The Miz. 

9:49 PM 1/27/2013 Goodbye Jinder Mahal.  10 percent Cole? Really?

9:50 PM 1/27/2013 2 left to go and 1 is Ryback for certain.

9:50 PM 1/27/2013 #29 Sin Cara. AKA Rey Mesterio 2.0 tonight. So Ryback is number 30.

9:51 PM 1/27/2013 Bo Dallas eliminates Wade Barrett. Wade Barrett comes back to eliminate Bo Dallas. Classic Royal Rumble. Total Classic.

9:52 PM 1/27/2013 #30 Ryback.  FEED ME MORE...FEED ME MORE...FEED ME MORE.

9:53 PM 1/27/2013 Damien Sandow is shown the door by Ryback. Now Sin Cara and Miz fall victim.

9:54 PM 1/27/2013 Jericho is getting one last fury before his exit. And right on cue Ziggler shows him the door.

9:55 PM 1/27/2013 We have 5 remaining wrestlers.  Ziggler Ryback Orton Cena and Sheamus. 

9:55 PM 1/27/2013 RKO's getting handed out left and right. 

9:56 PM 1/27/2013 Orton is show the door by Ryback and Sheamus sends Ziggler out.  Quick eliminations.  That caught me off guard.

9:57 PM 1/27/2013 Sheamus Cena and Ryback with the triple stare down.  Which of these three will it be? I got Cena at 80 percent Ryback at 20 and Sheamus at zero.

9:59 PM 1/27/2013 Ryback just countered a Brogue kick and tossed Sheamus.  WWE's residential superhero and a hero in training for our final two.

10:00 PM 1/27/2013 Is it Ryback's time finally after months of fighting two three four guys at a time??? Or does the Cena show continue for one more year?  Who am I kidding.  The Cena show has at the least a decade to go.

10:00 PM 1/27/2013 STFU time. Cole just mentioned Cena's inhuman strength.  When will we get a roid storyline writing into the show? Please writers, that could kick us into a whole new reality era.

10:02 PM 1/27/2013 On that note Cena throws Ryback over the top rope.  I guess we can cut ahead and see the Rock holding the title belt tonight.  The fireworks are drowning out the mix of boos.

10:10 PM 1/27/2013 Time for the WWE Championship Match. 

10:11 PM 1/27/2013 With the Shield being banned from the ring, will Brock Lesner show face? Not likely.  Tonight is about The Rock and Cena to a lesser extent.

10:13 PM 1/27/2013 The Champ makes his way to the ring first accompanied by Paul Heyman.  434 days as champ.  Amazing accomplishment by Punk. Sixth longest reign of a WWE champion. 

10:15 PM 1/27/2013 Somehow I just noticed a guy sitting ringside with a cutout of Err.  Aqua Teen Hunger Force ringside and I failed to notice until the final match.  Sorry. 

10:16 PM 1/27/2013 Do you smell what the Rock...is cooking.  At this point I am contractually obligated to mention the Rock and Mark Walberg have a movie coming out on this date.

10:19 PM 1/27/2013 Side note.  Why doesn't sport center give WWE results?  This is long overdue.  I need Raw highlights and former wrestlers giving commentary on ESPN before ppv's.  I need help.

10:20 PM 1/27/2013 The King is explaining why the Rock came back.  He claims it's in his blood due to his family heritage.  Perhaps there are some other things in the Rocks blood we'd find interesting.  By the way the Rock looks good.

10:23 PM 1/27/2013 Let's hope The Rock shakes off the "ring rust" and finds a way to avoid some random injury tonight.

10:26 PM 1/27/2013 CM Punk is taking advantage of "previous injuries" the rock has incurred at the hands of the Shield.  Working the midsection to perfection, aka slow the match the hell down.  The Rock has wrestled twice in the last 8 years.

10:28 PM 1/27/2013 Oh no!! Punk has tweaked the injury to his surgical repaired knee.  Let's slow this down more guys.  We need this match to last at least 15 minutes tonight.

10:30 PM 1/27/2013 Michael Cole, "the pace has now slowed in the Rocks favor." I'm getting too old for this shit.

10:33 PM 1/27/2013 Why is The Rock repeatedly using the sharpshooter? The knee injury? Bret Hart's presence? Lack of flexibly to perform any other submission move? I'll take all of the above.

10:35 PM 1/27/2013 The Spanish announcer table is currently in play.  Both men are standing on top and the table gives out.  Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! Not like this.  Not like this.

10:36 PM 1/27/2013 Rock is seriously on some good shit right now.  No ill affects shown from  the announcer table mishap.  I'm inspired.

10:39 PM 1/27/2013 It's time for the most electrifying move in all of sports entertainment. Out go the lights...fuck the world.  The crowd does not seem too pleased.  The Shield puts The Rock through a table in the dark and CM Punk retains the title.  I feel robbed.

10:43 PM 1/27/2013 Cue Vinny Mac's music. NO CHANCE!!! NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!! YOU"VE GOT!!!!!

10:44 PM 1/27/2013 We are restarting the match!!!!  The crowd is going nuts.  This should last 2 minutes. 5 at most. 

10:45 PM 1/27/2013 Rock is down early to a pissed Punk.  Classic hero's tale.  When things look there worst are hero saves the day. Avoid the go to sleep.  People's elbow.  New WWE CHAMP!!!

10:47 PM 1/27/2013 The winner of this match and NEWWWWWWW WWWE Champion...THE ROCK!!!!

10:47 PM 1/27/2013 I just set a record for most W's used between 2 words in succession.  On that note, shows over folks.  The Rock vs. John Cena. Round 2. WrestleMania.  It's a lock.